Kanyadaan: An Examination of Society’s Perception
Abstract:
In the web of norms and traditions, certain customs face scrutiny, for perpetuating inequalities and upholding outdated ideologies despite their historical origins. One such practice that has come under increasing criticism is “Kanyadaan”. A ritual deeply ingrained in the cultures of societies, where a father ceremoniously gives away his daughter during marriage. While it may initially appear as a kind gesture symbolizing love and familial ties, a closer examination reveals the complexities and inherent gender biases associated with this standing tradition.
Keywords: Transfer of authority, Gender disparities, equal rights and opportunities, conflict between tradition and reason.
Introduction:
Kanyadaan, a significant Hindu ritual where a father or a guardian voluntarily gives away his daughter during the wedding, has been an integral part of Indian culture for centuries. While it was initially considered a pious act symbolizing a father’s love and affection for his daughter, several social and gender implications surrounding Kanyadaan have led to a critical reexamination of this traditional practice in modern India.
The ritual of Kanyadaan became prevalent sometime during the Middle Ages. The Vedas do not talk about the practice of a father offering his daughter “daanam ‘’ Women enjoyed a much more powerful status as humans in the Vedic age rather than later and no way less than a man. The Vedas celebrate equality and consent of partners which is the underlying truth of any marriage. Women enjoyed a much superior position during the ancient period.1 So, where does the concept of “Kanyadaan” come from? It is from ‘Manu Smriti’ texts. As per the “Manu” text, male guardianship was deemed to be necessary for her being. So, the father was the guardian when she was unmarried, carried down to the husband after marriage.2
Consequently, evaluating the reasons behind viewing Kanyadaan as a social evil in contemporary society is pertinent. To appreciate the complexities surrounding Kanyadaan, it is essential to understand its historical context. The origins of this practice can be traced back to ancient Hindu texts, particularly the Manusmriti, which emphasizes a woman’s complete dependence on her father in childhood, husband in adulthood, and sons in old age. Though rooted in patriarchal notions, these traditional beliefs were considered normal within the framework of social ideologies prevalent at the time. One of the primary concerns distorting the image of Kanyadaan is the inherent gender imbalance it perpetuates. By portraying a woman as a commodity being transferred from one patriarchal figure to another, the ritual inadvertently undermines a woman’s agency and autonomy. It reinforces the societal notion that a woman is incomplete without male guardianship and defines her worth based on her relationship to men, rather than recognizing her identity and achievements. In its traditional form, Kanyadaan symbolizes a transfer of authority from a woman’s father to her husband. This power dynamic perpetuates existing gender disparities and further limits a woman’s ability to make decisions regarding her own life, reinforcing the notion that she must be ‘given away’ or ‘handed over’ to another man for her well-being. Such a practice not only restricts a woman’s freedom but also undermines the concept of marriage as a partnership between equals. With increasing awareness and education, modern India has witnessed a significant shift in societal norms and aspirations. The empowerment of women and their struggle for equal rights and opportunities have challenged many conventional practices, including Kanyadaan. Women today are stepping out of traditional roles, pursuing education, and demanding independence. Therefore, the ceremonial nature of Kanyadaan seems out of sync with the aspirations and values of modern Indian women. It is worth noting that not all instances of Kanyadaan are inherently oppressive.
This practice has been redefined by many families to bring it in line with modern values. Today, it is seen as a sign of love and affection, not as a sign of power or inferiority. In this connection, a new awakening is taking place. Along with girls, some well-educated parents are opposing this ancient tradition. Even the boy’s parents aren’t forcing her to do it either. Such marriages are being discussed on social media platforms and are welcomed by people of all backgrounds. Recently a survey was conducted on young & educated girls & boys. Parents of eligible boys & girls were also included in this survey. The questionnaire was designed to collect their opinion on Kanyadayan. The following chart depicts the findings:
- On finding out, Seventy-five percent of the respondents said they thought the Kanyadaan system was outdated and no longer relevant in the modern world. The young girls also adopted a more logical mindset, so they rejected the idea that they belonged to someone and that no one had the authority to give them away. They genuinely oppose being objectified. According to the modern parents surveyed, it would be more sensible to treat boys and girls as equal partners rather than assigning or accepting girls as daan. The parents have also transcended this Kanyadaan custom. They strongly advocate ending this practice.
- Only Fifteen percent of respondents agreed with the radical shift in younger people’s perspectives. However, they had no desire to lead by example. Feel ashamed calling their daughters “Kanyadaans” at the same time. In certain cases, the girls are even more qualified than the boys, if not equally so. They can multitask quite well.
- Of the balance, 10% expressed their inability to express their opinion.
When I, delved into this concept deeply those who guarded this practice argued by putting forward the statements that not all girls are blessed to have Kayadaan in their weddings as it’s a matter of honor respecting one’s traditional and cultural heritage, or it may be the showcase of the bondage of love and trust between father and groom and as to the aspect social expectations it is the union of the families. While viewing from the spiritual aspect many believe it brings prosperity to the newlyweds, but is Kanyadaan the only option to achieve the stated goal? And does not equality and respect for both partners hold any significance in Indian Society? I agree with the fact that it may not be seen as a social evil like that of the practice of the Sati system and henceforth we cannot alter a person’s beliefs. However, it is essential to critically evaluate its implications in light of modern values and aspirations.
India has a long history of conflict between tradition and reason. It is a matter of personal preference as to whether or not one believes in the system. But making a decision based on information is essential. The main cause of the belief that Kanyadaan is a social evil is gender inequality. It keeps open the possibility of stifling women’s autonomy and agency. Redefining traditions to reflect modern values that support gender equality within the framework of equity is necessary in light of shifting social dynamics. In the end, Kanyadaan practice must promote women’s empowerment while honoring their uniqueness to create a progressive, modern India.
- Mathur, Dr.Meta.2017. “Kanyadaan – Its origin and relevance.” IJSDR 2, (3). https://www.ijsdr.org/papers/IJSDR1703054.pdf.
↩︎ - Ravi, Khayti.2021. “Why Kanyadaan? – An unquestioned ritual.” TOI Magazine. Accessed December 26, 2023. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/readersblog/khyatiravicreations/why-kanyadaan-an-unquestioned-ritual-33302/. ↩︎
